Getting Intimate - SA 21 B Da Silva, Marcelo, Sy, Tateno

Getting Intimate

Ysa Da Silva, Anna Marcelo, Regine Sy, Maho Tateno

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1. What norm did you violate?

When approaching strangers, the norm in society is for us to be very formal and polite. Normally when asking questions or for help, you do not request for too much because you do not know the person very well. In this, there is respect for the person’s personal space and privacy, as well as for the time they are giving you. Another norm in society is for intimate questions to be reserved for those you know intimately. When people are more comfortable with the person they are speaking with, it is easier to talk about more private, or even taboo topics. It could also be considered rude or awkward by someone you do not know to ask them to divulge a secret related to them when you do not have any experience with them.

2. Describe the breaching experiment in detail. What was the activity? Where did you do it?

For the experiment, the group approached different strangers in UPTC and the UP Shopping Center under the guise of asking them for some assistance. When the people agreed, the group would then ask them an intimate question usually reserved for someone you would know better. Questions used were as follows: “Do you believe in God? Why?” “My boyfriend is cheating on me. What should I do?” “What kind of porn do you watch?” After being asked the question, their reactions were observed and analyzed.

3. What were the different reactions of the people? List all possible reactions observed. Why do you think they reacted this way? What caused these reactions? Did the deviant act affirm/reinforce the existing norms based on these reactions?

• “Do you believe in God? Why?””
• Most of the respondents had no violent reactions and merely answered with a calm affirmative. When asked why, they gave serious answers. One of the respondents dismissed the interviewer upon hearing the question. We believe this is because the respondent thought we were trying to convert her. This shows how religion is an important value in the Philippines, as the question is responded to in a serious manner. Questions regarding this religion affirmed the religious norms in our country.
• “My boyfriend is cheating on me. What should I do?”
• Most respondents were confused and a little uncomfortable with the question. One of the respondents was first eager to help (even taking off his glasses), but when he heard the question he quickly switched to speaking in Filipino and said that he was late for work. They reacted like this because it is a question concerning a personal problem that you wouldn’t normally talk to strangers about. This affirms that there is a norm of dealing with your problems or divulging them among your social circle than a stranger.
• For the question about porn preference
• Most were shocked and some were even offended. Their reactions were warranted because we live in a dominantly Christian society where porn is considered as a topic not suited for polite company. Those in a group would try to pass the question to someone else. Another factor could be that the question was asked by a woman. In a very religious society, anything sexual is “wrong” and should not be brought up in public. It also reinforces the “kababaeng tao mo” concept where girls should not know about, much less address, anything crude or sexual (like porn) in society.

4. Aside from the norms, what sociological themes are at play for people to react in a certain way? Is it a function of gender (gender norms, roles), social class (norms of the rich and the poor), values/beliefs of institutions (religion, family, peer group, etc.).

After conducting the experiment, we have concluded that it is a combination of gender, social class, and the values and beliefs of institutions. During the process of approaching people, it seemed as though the respondents were more willing to talk to us because we were girls (i.e. less threatening). Furthermore, as stated before, the experiment revealed an unwillingness to accept that girls can also be knowledgeable in risqué topics. Social class also seemed to have an impact on the reactions. In UPTC, most of the respondents were open to the “scandalous” questions. This could be because the rich are more educated and have more experience regarding these matters. On the other hand, the people in UP Shopping Center were less reactive and more cautious of our questions. Their social class could contribute to their reaction because, typically, the people in the lower social class only get the barest minimum of education. This lack of education leads to a lack of understanding toward other cultures. As such, they are more prone to conservative views. Even the language we used (English) solicited reactions in itself - such as one person commenting, “Ang hirap sa English...” and another switching to Filipino after hearing the question. In addition, we had deliberately picked questions we assumed would get the most reactions. From our choices, it is evident that the more uncomfortable questions mostly revolve around the values and beliefs of an institutions.

5. How did you feel when you did this experiment? How does it feel to deviate from the norms? Were you hesitant to do the activity?

This experiment was an eye-opening experience because it showed which norms are being followed in the society we move in. Deviating from the norms was liberating but stressful. It felt satisfying to go against the dictates of society because there seems to be no logical reason for some of the norms we violated. Concurrently, deviating from the norms was difficult because the end result would always be sanctions. In some cases, sanctions would come in the form of hostility or plain anger. The kinder sanctions involved more nervous laughter or confusion on the part of the respondent. Prior to conducting the experiment, there was definitely some feelings of skepticism. There was an uncertainty with how people would react. However, after the initial interviews, deviating became easier and enjoyable.

6. Other observations and analysis that you may have on the activity and on deviance in general?

What is considered as ‘Deviant’ varies according to the social background of the area. What’s considered abnormal to the norm changes in degrees according to social class, who says it, and even the status of religion in the area. It was seen as the reactions varied in  the different areas with how much it offended them. People in each area differ even from slight distance, making sociology interesting.

The group was composed of all females, and we wonder what would have changed if it had been males who had approached them under the guise of asking for help. Typically women attract more sympathy or are seen as gentle or even weaker by Philippine society. Especially if a man had asked for help regarding a cheating girlfriend, perhaps the reactions would have varied, been more blunt, or may have gone as far as getting pissed.