“I Think I'm in Love With You”

1.     What norm did you violate?

We violated the norm of  saying “I love you” to someone who you hardly know or don't know at all, when the norm is that the uttering of “I love you” to another person is usually a significant milestone in a relationship between two people, and usually said after a significant amount of time is spent with each other.

2.     Describe the breaching experiment in detail? What was the activity? Where did you do it?

The primary concept of the experiment was to breach the norms of showing verbal affection to a stranger. We conducted the activity in 2 areas (for variety): in the lobby of Regis mall and in Gateway mall. The action performed was the same in both areas: the experimenter would approach a chosen target, make eye contact to assure the attention of the subject, and then clearly tell them, “I think I'm in love with you” or “I love you”.

3.     What were the different reactions of the people? List all possible reacting you observed. Why do you think they reacted that way? What caused these reactions? Did the deviant act re-affirm/reinforce the existing norms based on these reactions?

The results varied depending on the area and also on the gender of both the person performing the action and the person receiving the “I love you” or “I'm in love with you”.

In Regis Mall, the subjects were more amiable, brushing it off with a laugh or asking if it was for a school project. Some even asked, “Is this for deviance?”. This is most likely because of the proximity of Regis to various universities, with students already suspect to social experiments due to SA21 class or another class with relatable topics. The reactions in Gateway were more surprised and apparent. Being unexposed to social experiments unlike the students in Regis, confusion was much more apparent for the subjects in Gateway. In respect to gender, when the deviant was a male and the subject was also a male, the most common response would be to ignore the deviant or nod before walking briskly away. Other reactions were to laugh it off or rarely, to ask “Ano?”, but the most common reaction was ignorance of the deviant. When it was a male deviant and a female subject, the same response was displayed. However, it was interesting to note that if it was a female deviant and a male subject, the male subject would laugh or ask “What?” or “Ano to?” instead of immediately turning away. Females were the most amiable, with most females laughing off the experiment as a joke or asking if it had been a dare. These reactions might be attributed to the fact that females are perceived as a the more “emotional” gender, so it is perceived as less “creepy” when it's a female expressing verbal emotion, while it is seen as more strange or unlikely that a male would do so.

4.     Aside from the norms, what sociological themes are at play for people to react in a certain way? Is it a function of gender (gender norms, roles), social class (norms of the rich & the poor), values/beliefs of institutions (religion, family, peer group, etc.).

We believe that Symbolic Interactionism along with gender norms comes into play in our experiment. Symbolic Interactionsim because the words “I love you” carry a heavy meaning in our society. “I love you” is said only to family, friends, boyfriends or girlfriends – generally the people with whom we possess significant relationships with. When one says “I love you”, it is to someone we know on a personal level, who in turn knows us as well. To break this norm by speaking “I love you” to a stranger yielded the obvious results of suprise and confusion. As for gender norms, as mentioned above, the more amiable reaction towards the female deviant could be attributed to our perceived notion that females are the more “emotional” of the two genders, and as such, when a female expresses emotion in public, while in our case it was still seen as strange, it was significantly less “creepy” or “weird” than when the male performed the experiment.

5.     How did you feel when you did this experiment? How does it feel to deviate from the norms? Where you hesistant to do the activity?

The more extroverted members of the group were excited to do the activity, however the more introverted members were extremely hesistant, looking for subjects that were less physically intimidating, or approaching those who seemed like they would understand the most. The more introverted members were more likely to explain that it was a “social experiment” right after performing the action. Although the extroverted members were excited in the beginning to perform the experiment, after a few runs, they too started feeling embarrassment, especially after the stares or reprimandations they received from some subjects. In general, deviating from the norms felt unpleasant, and later a sense of shame or embarrassment was felt by the entirety of the group.

6.     Other observations and analysis that you may have on the activity and on deviance in general.

An analysis of this experiment brings us to the conclusion that certain phrases or words carry certain meanings with them – Symbolic Interactionism at work in language. If we had approached strangers and told them, “I think your shoelaces are untied” or “your zipper is open”, then it would have been considered appropriate. However, since it was “I love you” or “I'm in love with you”, the phrase carried more weight and meaning and thus received the corresponding reaction.

In respect to deviance, we realized that society does have quite a large influence on us, as our deviance from the norms made us feel extremely uncomfortable. It is even more telling that we had felt uncomfortable not because of an outside force, but because we were doing something considered “weird” or “unusual” and thus felt shame for it – the uncomfortability generating internally. It made us realize how society and norms so deeply affect us that the tiniest breach can make us feel so strongly against it.


SA21 - Q
Team McSpicy - Empedrado, Espino, Penarada, Unson