The Norm
What norm did you violate?
When you are served at a restaurant, you tip the waiter or waitress. People obligatorily leave money that was not required to some random stranger for their service. It is a commonly accepted practice but why?
Here in the Philippines, tipping is customary. A small bill is usually left at restaurants if the service is good. Drivers always have spare change in their cars just in case the parking attendants guide them out of the parking slot. Taxi commuters don’t usually get their change if it’s only a few pesos. Barbers also expect tips manifested when they walk you to the cashier to pay the bill. However, we never tip to our friends or family. Unless they are in their jobs and we needed their service, we don’t tip them.
What happens if we tip our friends and family? How will the social structures prevent this new tradition from happening? The goal of this paper is to explain how the norm of tipping is contained and kept outside of friends’ and family’s routine interaction.
The Experiment
Describe the breaching experiment in detail. What was the activity? Where did you do it?
The flow of the breaching experiment is as follows:
- A group member will inconspicuously ask a friend/family member to do a menial task.
- After the favor is done, the group member will tip them an amount upwards of P20.00 and observe and record their friend/family’s reaction to being tipped.
To make the favors as inconspicuous as possible, it was done during the normal course of the day, when friends and family were to least expect it; for example, Albion did his experiment while having lunch with his friends, and Ali asked favors she would typically ask of her family members. As a result, the subjects of the breaching experiment were usually taken aback by the sudden unusual gesture, and the group members were able to observe obvious reactions.
Results
What were the different reactions of the people? List all possible reactions you observed. Why do you think they reacted this way? What caused these reactions? Did the deviant act reaffirm/reinforce the existing norms based on these reactions?
The group received different reactions during the experiment from different people.
- Reactions from Friends
Albion’s Friends’ Reaction
We asked friends small favors, from just asking for some rubbing alcohol, buying me a drink, asking for some water, then I gave them the tip. All of were surprise and confused about me giving them a tip. Without hesitation, all of them refused the money being handed to them. They immediately returned it to me saying that there is no need for such gesture. However, there are a few who accepted the tip.
Phil’s Friend's Reaction
Small Tips
There are friends who accepted tips. One of the group’s member asked a friend to draw for him for a school project. After finishing the drawing, the experimenter gave P5.00 and was perplexed. Upon knowing it was a tip, he was still confused and did not know what to do with the money. After that a few seconds, he just accepted it and wished that I would’ve given more. A lot friends that were tipped for P50.00 and less accepted Some did not because they explained that it will make them look like desperate and poor.
Large Tips
One friend readily accepted a P100.00 tip just for holding an umbrella. He said that he needed the money and did not bother asking why he was given a tip. On the other hand, another friend was in complete shock when a P500.00 bill was handed to him also for holding an umbrella. He tried to give it back but Phil refused. He stared for almost a minute holding the bill in his hands. Finally, Phil explained that it was an experiment. Phil’s friend said that he didn’t know if he was going to put it on the floor or throw it down the staircase.
Timonera Household Help
When one house help, who is considered as a friend of the family, was tipped P20.00 for bringing a soiled plate to the kitchen for washing (a normal daily utos), she was surprised and asked what it was for. When she was informed that it was a tip, she shyly laughed and politely said thank you. She didn’t seem sure whether refusing the money or accepting it was the correct gesture.
- Reactions from Family
Albion’s Family
Tipping family members was a very difficult thing to do. While asking for favors from family members was not problem, tipping them was the total opposite. Not only did they outright refuse to be tipped, it also caused an environment of unease and awkwardness. Parents refused the tip and sometimes it was accompanied by a short sermon that family would do favors without expecting monetary payment.
Phil’s Family
Phil’s parents are in the province so he was not able to perform the experiment to them but, Phil’s sister is here. She was given P10.00 for bringing his glasses to him. She got very confused and didn’t know what to do with it. Finally, she just opted not to keep it and placed it on top of a desk.
Ali’s Family
Ali’s parents were tipped P20.00 pesos for fetching something from the master’s dressing room, and checking a leak in the ceiling. Both paused in awkward confusion for a while after receiving the money, and asked [non-verbatim], “Para saan ‘to?”. When informed that it was a tip, they both laughed it off as a joke and threw the money back.
Her 10-year old sister was a different story, however. Upon receiving P50.00 for fetching Ali an article from her room, she wasted no time doing a celebratory jump and then ran away with the money.
Sociological Themes
Aside from the norms, what sociological themes are at play for people to react in a certain way? Is it a function of gender (gender norms, roles), social class (norms of the rich & the poor), values/beliefs of institutions (religion, family, peer group, etc.). [You could design the experiment based on these sociological themes. For example, you could compare reactions according to gender, social class, etc. That would more interesting--and might obtain a better grade!]
Socialization and Roles
The family unit is considered a social space where members nurture each other. On one hand, it can be motivated by love, or on the other, by economic stability. Locally, the family has been conditioned by the Filipino culture to be accepting to do anything for its members without payment. Hence, any favor is to be done as long as it is in the power of the family member. “Kahit ano para sa aking pamilya” is still very strong within the Filipino context and is proven by the result of this experiment. As a concrete example, when Ali’s parents were asked why they returned the money after being tipped, they responded saying that they were the ones responsible for giving out allowance to their children, and so it didn’t make sense for them to accept money from their child. They identified with their role as parents, and in addition, could probably not find any reason to accept the tip in a household setting. This motivated them to refuse the tip.
When it came to friends, being in a “circle of friendship” dictated that small favors need not be paid for nor be compensated for by any form of monetary reward. In this situation, social reality of friendship has nurtured a system where services rendered to friends are to be considered non-profitable unless needed. Clearly, the current norm of friendship in the Filipino context is still being upheld. The “walang anuman” mentality is still very present in the current social context.
For Ali’s sister’s reaction, her lower level of socialization may have come into play. She’s very young compared to the rest of the subjects. The rest reacted awkwardly or at the very least paused to process the tip they received, whereas she gleefully ran away when a P50.00 bill was placed in her hand. Coupled with the set of more casual values associated in a household/close family setting, she probably didn’t register the tip from an older sister as “wrong”. She may have not been socialized that tipping is more for those people in the service sector after they provide you with the service.
High Tips vs Low Tips
The acceptance of the tip of some friends were probably because they needed the money (e.g. saving up for something, as transportation money, etc). Looking at it in a symbolic interaction lens, these people see the bill as something that serves an important purpose. These people ignored the guilt or shame that they may had experienced. The shame or guilt imposed by accepting P5.00 - P20.00 is not so much compared to the fulfillment of receiving.
On the other hand, friends who were tipped P500.00 did rejected the tip outright. The shame and guilt that the subject felt for accepting will be greater than the gratification of receiving that valuable piece of paper.
Acceptance of the Lower Class vs Higher Class
Friends who belong in lower classes in comparison to the giver were more ready to accept the tip. However, there are some, who were part of the elite, that also accepted the tip. Looking at it closely, their family’s social class did not completely influence this. Instead, their own financial status as individuals greatly influenced their reaction. A lot of those who accepted saw that their allowances are not enough. Thus, friends who accepted the tip genuinely needed additional money. Friends who belong to the lower class (doesn’t necessarily poor) obviously see that their allowances were not enough.
Function of Tipping
Looking at it in a macro level, the awkwardness felt by the giver and the rejection that is explicitly shown by the receiver reinforces that tipping is only for those situations where the giver of the tip is formally being serviced. Therefore by tipping, our society keeps these waiters, waitresses and other people in the blue-collar industry surviving off of their very little assured money. In turn, this keeps restaurants and other establishments running smoothly therefore helping our economy. Tipping your friends and family will not help these establishments and the economy.
The Experimenter
How did you feel when you did this experiment? How does it feel to deviate from the norms? Were you hesitant to do the activity?
The level of reluctance the group members felt was a bigger hurdle than they anticipated. Though at first the experiment sounded funny and easy to do, it was unnerving to do the deviation alone. Doing the act alone, being so strange and weird, is extremely difficult and the reaction of the subjects made it very awkward for the doer.
Tipping people, apart from those who are part of the service providing industry, is not something one would do as socialized by the Filipino context and environment. It causes awkwardness between the giver and the receiver of the tip.
During the activity, it caused a feeling of guilt and shame acting so highly tipping friends and family members. each occasion of tipping was preceded by great hesitation as the subject could misunderstand the implication of the tip, and therefore negatively impact their relationship with the group member. Defying the norm of not tipping friends and family was very unrewarding as there was the fear of destroying nurtured relationships. Unlike defining other norms, tipping can lead to a perception that one is believing that he/she is on a higher level than the other. This possibility causes the hesitation the group members felt upon executing the experiment.
Other Observations
Other observations and analysis that you may have on the activity and on deviance in general.
It was clear that the subjects were socialized to expect that menial favors did not warrant tips, especially not if the favor came from a friend or family member. There were times that the group members had to get their subject’s attention again to give them the tip, or chase after them since they had begun to leave (they already did what they were asked to do). Sometimes the group members also had to verbally specify that the money they were handing over was a tip, since some of the subjects didn’t make the connection between the money and the favor they did.
Deviance affirms cultural values and norms. It also clarifies moral boundaries, and promotes social unity by creating a contrast between two acts (the norm and the deviant act). However, it can be seen that deviance is not from the act that is committed but from the society that creates the judgement.
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